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Episode 59 — How Relationships Reveal Us

Summary

Brett and Joe address curiosities from listeners about how to approach relationships in a healthy way, riffing on the observation that we find ourselves attracted to the people who most perfectly hook into our triggers, traumas, and projections. Seeing this pattern as a feature rather than a bug, relationships become a vessel for deep healing and personal growth.

Show Notes

What can we learn about ourselves from the way we engage in relationships?

Brett and Joe address curiosities from listeners about how to approach relationships in a healthy way, riffing on the observation that we find ourselves attracted to the people who most perfectly hook into our triggers, traumas, and projections. Seeing this pattern as a feature rather than a bug, relationships become a vessel for deep healing and personal growth.

Examine how an agreement that “we’re together to make each other happy” leads to resentment and kills a relationship. Consider a relationship built on each partner finding their own freedom while being kind and supportive to one another.

Learn how relationships involve a continuous grieving process for our identity and bring us into contact with the helplessness of loving another without trying to change them.

  • How can we welcome one another’s needs without neglecting parts of ourselves to make them happy?
  • What does it look like to be authentic and open-hearted in the face of an attack?
  • When a relationship ends, how do we not close down and repeat the same pattern next time?

We’ll be following this episode up with others in a new series on relationships. Tweet your favorite quotes and burning questions to @artofaccomp and let us know what you’d like to explore more deeply.