Summary

What can we learn about ourselves from the way we engage in relationships?

Brett and Joe address curiosities from listeners about how to approach relationships in a healthy way, riffing on the observation that we find ourselves attracted to the people who most perfectly hook into our triggers, traumas, and projections. Seeing this pattern as a feature rather than a bug, relationships become a vessel for deep healing and personal growth.

Examine how an agreement that “we’re together to make each other happy” leads to resentment and kills a relationship. Consider a relationship built on each partner finding their own freedom while being kind and supportive to one another.

Learn how relationships involve a continuous grieving process for our identity and bring us into contact with the helplessness of loving another without trying to change them.

  • How can we welcome one another’s needs without neglecting parts of ourselves to make them happy?
  • What does it look like to be authentic and open-hearted in the face of an attack?
  • When a relationship ends, how do we not close down and repeat the same pattern next time?

We’ll be following this episode up with others in a new series on relationships. Tweet your favorite quotes and burning questions to @artofaccomp and let us know what you’d like to explore more deeply.

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